Santa Claus died for your sins

[SubLunar]

I made an important realization recently that I need to share with everyone.

Santa Claus is Jesus.

See what happened is Jesus got fat. And old. Living forever will do that to you, right? He wanted to celebrate his birthday but needed to keep his identity hidden. So he creates this elaborate scheme to dress up and pretend like he's some fat guy with unexplained magical powers.

Sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, knows if you've been bad or good? Who else can do that? Jesus. Fat old Jesus.

So this Christmas eve, leave an extra cookie out for our savior because Santa died on the cross for our sins.

[ropingk]

wow i was a youth pastor for many years and a music minister and i never knew that thanks man

[RedRook]

So where does skinny Elvis and fat Elvis fit into all of this, because you know they say he never died either, and he mysteriously is the one "King" in a Democratic society without royalty. Who else can do that other than Jesus, or perhaps the anti-christ. Is Elvis the anti-christ?

[BagHead727]

Did you know that Santa munches Amanita muscaria? It's what keeps the North Pole Project running.

[ropingk]

wow so much info that is well ??????????????????

[BROUSER]

Mrs. Claus is Mary Magdalene?

[SubLunar]

Mrs. Claus is Mary Magdalene?

BOOM. This guy gets it.

[Nicotti]

Mrs. Claus is Mary Magdalene?