I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
- gimpface
- Zen Master
- Posts: 1981
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 2:05 pm
- Location: Fuck... I think I’m trapped in a well
I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
Shadowbearer and I checked out the Jordan Creek tunnel Tuesday, starting at the Hotel of terror end. At the opposite end of the tunnel, we walked down the creek a little farther to see if there was anything worthwhile. I spotted a small rounded cylinder about 2"x1/2" made from chrome with a wire coming out of it. Myself being something of an idiot and thinking it might be part of a car or something, I pick it up and say "What the hell is this?" to which Shadow replies "Dude, that's a bullet... it's a sex toy!" I chose not to believe him, but I put it down anyway. I just googled it and have come to the unfortunate conclusion that yes, I handled an object that in all probablilty was inserted into someone's (or something's) nether regions. Ew. This however brings me to two troubling questions:
1) I knew Jordan Creek was polluted, but since when did it become a vibrator dumping ground?
and
2)Why the hell did Shadowbearer know what the damn thing was?
If anybody would like to salvage it, it's sitting about 50' down from the tunnel on the non-hotel of terror end. If you rewired it and threw it in a thing of fresh cream, it would make a dandy mini-butter churn, although I would recommend a thorough disinfection before use.
1) I knew Jordan Creek was polluted, but since when did it become a vibrator dumping ground?
and
2)Why the hell did Shadowbearer know what the damn thing was?
If anybody would like to salvage it, it's sitting about 50' down from the tunnel on the non-hotel of terror end. If you rewired it and threw it in a thing of fresh cream, it would make a dandy mini-butter churn, although I would recommend a thorough disinfection before use.
Vampire Killings, buy one get one FREE!
- Sertile
- Sinkhole Violator
- Posts: 3515
- Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2004 10:58 pm
- Location: Karlin, MO
- Contact:
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
I once saw an entire discarded microwave down there, but that's no big deal considering the sheer number of abandoned couches that can be found downtown.
The coolest thing I ever found in the Jordan Creek was a 2-ft long lead pipe with a handle made of duct tape. My friend took it home with him and christened it "the Skullbat."
The coolest thing I ever found in the Jordan Creek was a 2-ft long lead pipe with a handle made of duct tape. My friend took it home with him and christened it "the Skullbat."
Latest Update - Camp Wellfleet, Freshbrook Village: http://undergroundozarks.com/blog/sertile/
- White Rabbit
- Illuminati Expert
- Posts: 5246
- Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:57 pm
- Location: Missouri
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
I counted five discarded bicycles in a tunnel in Springfield, once. And no, they were not together and were obviously not all dumped at the same time.
- ShadowBearer
- Stubbles
- Posts: 1721
- Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2005 1:11 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
How are you suprised that I know what a sex toy looks like? I mean, of all the people you know, wouldn't I be the most likely to know that?
In all reality, one of the friends of "the evil one" had us over at thier apartment when we were living together in springfield and was showing me her sex toys.
In all reality, one of the friends of "the evil one" had us over at thier apartment when we were living together in springfield and was showing me her sex toys.
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
Well it was found in a creek. And what lives in a creek,,,,,beaver.....
Caving impaired,,,too old, too fat, don't care.
Re: RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
caver wrote:Well it was found in a creek. And what lives in a creek,,,,,beaver.....
Mmmmmmm, beaver...
"Oh my God! Wal-mart's going to march on Poland!" ~ Lewis Black
"You're not the "rockstar of the forum." Paul is." ~ CrazyDrummerDude
"You're not the "rockstar of the forum." Paul is." ~ CrazyDrummerDude
- ShadowBearer
- Stubbles
- Posts: 1721
- Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2005 1:11 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
Depends on how it is prepared.
- David Keetz
- Mercurial Disciple
- Posts: 935
- Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:39 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
"sir, a vibrating object was detected in your luggage"
"my luggage was.......vibrating"
"yes...nine times out of ten it's just an elecric razor....but every once in a while...................................it's a dildo"
"but i don't own a...."
"please.......in the event of a dildo we always use the definitive term 'a' dildo. Never 'your' dildo"
"my luggage was.......vibrating"
"yes...nine times out of ten it's just an elecric razor....but every once in a while...................................it's a dildo"
"but i don't own a...."
"please.......in the event of a dildo we always use the definitive term 'a' dildo. Never 'your' dildo"
I think something clever is supposed to go right here.
Re: RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
Drew Carry!David Keetz wrote:"sir, a vibrating object was detected in your luggage"
"my luggage was.......vibrating"
"yes...nine times out of ten it's just an elecric razor....but every once in a while...................................it's a dildo"
"but i don't own a...."
"please.......in the event of a dildo we always use the definitive term 'a' dildo. Never 'your' dildo"
"Oh my God! Wal-mart's going to march on Poland!" ~ Lewis Black
"You're not the "rockstar of the forum." Paul is." ~ CrazyDrummerDude
"You're not the "rockstar of the forum." Paul is." ~ CrazyDrummerDude
- David Keetz
- Mercurial Disciple
- Posts: 935
- Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:39 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
good guess
but no
but no
I think something clever is supposed to go right here.
- ShadowBearer
- Stubbles
- Posts: 1721
- Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2005 1:11 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
Fight Club.
- David Keetz
- Mercurial Disciple
- Posts: 935
- Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2004 9:39 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
^^^
we have a winner
we have a winner
I think something clever is supposed to go right here.
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
Hey someone found my vibrator! Is it still where I left it or did you throw it somewhere else?
- ShadowBearer
- Stubbles
- Posts: 1721
- Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2005 1:11 am
RE: I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek
lol...I just want to know how the control got ripped off of it.