I found a sex toy in Jordan Creek

[gimpface]

Shadowbearer and I checked out the Jordan Creek tunnel Tuesday, starting at the Hotel of terror end. At the opposite end of the tunnel, we walked down the creek a little farther to see if there was anything worthwhile. I spotted a small rounded cylinder about 2"x1/2" made from chrome with a wire coming out of it. Myself being something of an idiot and thinking it might be part of a car or something, I pick it up and say "What the hell is this?" to which Shadow replies "Dude, that's a bullet... it's a sex toy!" I chose not to believe him, but I put it down anyway. I just googled it and have come to the unfortunate conclusion that yes, I handled an object that in all probablilty was inserted into someone's (or something's) nether regions. Ew. This however brings me to two troubling questions:

1) I knew Jordan Creek was polluted, but since when did it become a vibrator dumping ground?

and

2)Why the hell did Shadowbearer know what the damn thing was?

If anybody would like to salvage it, it's sitting about 50' down from the tunnel on the non-hotel of terror end. If you rewired it and threw it in a thing of fresh cream, it would make a dandy mini-butter churn, although I would recommend a thorough disinfection before use.

[Sertile]

I once saw an entire discarded microwave down there, but that's no big deal considering the sheer number of abandoned couches that can be found downtown.

The coolest thing I ever found in the Jordan Creek was a 2-ft long lead pipe with a handle made of duct tape. My friend took it home with him and christened it "the Skullbat."

[White Rabbit]

I counted five discarded bicycles in a tunnel in Springfield, once. And no, they were not together and were obviously not all dumped at the same time.

[ShadowBearer]

How are you suprised that I know what a sex toy looks like? I mean, of all the people you know, wouldn't I be the most likely to know that?
In all reality, one of the friends of "the evil one" had us over at thier apartment when we were living together in springfield and was showing me her sex toys.

[caver]

Well it was found in a creek. And what lives in a creek,,,,,beaver.....

[Willard]

Well it was found in a creek. And what lives in a creek,,,,,beaver.....

Mmmmmmm, beaver...

[Kit]

are we considering this beaver food?

[ShadowBearer]

Depends on how it is prepared.

[David Keetz]

"sir, a vibrating object was detected in your luggage"
"my luggage was.......vibrating"
"yes...nine times out of ten it's just an elecric razor....but every once in a while...................................it's a dildo"
"but i don't own a...."
"please.......in the event of a dildo we always use the definitive term 'a' dildo. Never 'your' dildo"

[Willard]

"sir, a vibrating object was detected in your luggage"
"my luggage was.......vibrating"
"yes...nine times out of ten it's just an elecric razor....but every once in a while...................................it's a dildo"
"but i don't own a...."
"please.......in the event of a dildo we always use the definitive term 'a' dildo. Never 'your' dildo"

Drew Carry!

[David Keetz]

good guess

but no

[ShadowBearer]

Fight Club.

[David Keetz]

^^^

we have a winner

[Necrosys]

Hey someone found my vibrator! Is it still where I left it or did you throw it somewhere else?

[ShadowBearer]

lol...I just want to know how the control got ripped off of it.